


In the air

by Raissassampaio



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, Fluff, Inspired by The Greatest Showman (2017), Jily Trope Fest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-03-23 15:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13791072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raissassampaio/pseuds/Raissassampaio
Summary: When James Potter went to the circus that evening, he couldn't predict how it would change his life. Centre stage, he found the most fascinating girl he had ever seen - a trapeze artist by the name of Lily Evans; and Sirius Black, his childhood best friend, whom he hadn't seen in years.





	1. 1.I can feel it coming

**Author's Note:**

> First of all: Be warned that english is my second language and I do not have a beta. So I'm so, soooo sorry for anything you will certainly encounter. ( but it's either this or not publish at all)
> 
> This Jily AU is loosely inspired by The Greatest Showman - meaning I loved the movie and couldn't stop thing about certain things, but also had a bunch of other ideas that don't go with that plot; so don't be surprise if things don't exactly fit in with the story.
> 
> Title chapters are from Phil Collins "In the air tonight".

England, 1930’s

 

Euphemia Potter was nothing if not a determined woman. Ever since her beloved husband Fleamont had died and her sweet son James had taken over the family business; the elderly lady had made it her life’s mission to find her son a wife. Which was just too bad for James, since he never seemed to be particularly interested in the string of very lovely, but very bland girls Euphemia paraded in front of him.

“I just don’t understand what you want, honey. Well, yes, perhaps she was a bit uninteresting, but it is hard to find a female Nobel Prize winner who’s around your age these days. Oh, it would be my pleasure to stop, if you would just meet girls yourself, you know, like a good little boy.”, she would say, after introducing him another pretty woman he would instantly forget.

So when his mother suggested he’d take out “Wilfred and Celia’s oldest daughter” earlier that day, he actually perked up at the suggestion, accepting it immediately. Unlike most young women from his social circle, Marlene McKinnon was _fun_. Her plump, curvaceous body and pretty chestnut curls attracted the eyes of more than a few of his mates; but it was her cheeky personality that made her famous and dear among them.

He had been waiting for her on the living room parlour, drinking some sort of fancy brandy with her older brother, when she appeared, bright and bubbly in a cream chiffon dress.

“Hello, Miss McKinnon. You look beautiful.”

“Hello, James. And please, it’s Marlene”, she answered, a knowing smile on her painted lips. He offered her his arm, and she promptly took it.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Oh, it’s a surprise. I hope you’ll like it.”

Marlene scoffed. “What do you think of this, Matthew? You’re really letting him take me God knows where?”

Her brother laughed. “Oh, _I_ know where you’re going, of course.”

“Unfair!”, Marlene protested.

“I could tell you, if you insist, but it would ruin the surprise.”, said James.

“Nah, “, conceded the girl. “Let’s go.”

* * *

For all her snarky demeanour, Marlene’s face had acquired a childlike expression of fascination since they had arrived. Beneath the bright lights and the coloured tent of Circus La Folie everything looked dreamy, enchanted, beyond James’ imagination. His legs bounced excitedly on his seat and he probably had a stupid smile on his face just like almost everyone else at the audience.

They were having a wonderful time – even if he wasn’t particularly attracted to Marlene in a romantic way, she proved to be amazing company, he laughed his arse off when the clowns performed their number, and he had successfully managed to eat about half of her popcorn while she threw the other half at him and they got yelled at by the people on the other row.

He was just putting his glasses back on, after a quick cleaning session due to popcorn grease; when he saw the most exquisite creature he ever laid eyes on take the spotlight.

She was sitting still, suspended on air on a trapeze swing while it descended centre stage. It didn’t look like she was wearing clothes, but instead; that her body was the night sky, with luminous dots kissing her skin like stars, converging conveniently to protect her modesty. Her hair was so fair it was almost silver, pulled together in an elaborate up-do. He couldn’t see her features so well from that distance, but he could tell, somehow, that she was beautiful. Magical. And just when James though she couldn’t get more perfect, she started moving.

Her moves were gracious, flawless, gravity-defying. Sometimes, they were quick and sharp; other times, they were slow and deliberately sensual. So he was a bit startled when Marlene’s voice interrupted him.

“Hey, isn’t he that kid Black?”, she asked, pointing at a man standing on stage, whose presence James hadn’t even noticed yet.

But he was certainly noticing now. Because on that circus stage was a face James Potter would recognize anywhere - that of his former best friend, Sirius Black.

“Yes. Yes, it’s him.”, he answered, bewildered, but smiling slightly. He couldn’t believe after all those years of searching; he’d find Sirius here, of all places. He would not let him get away without talking to him this time.

Sirius, aided by the beautiful girl, had jumped on the trapeze swing now, and they were continuing the act together. He wasn’t as good as her, but he was good enough; and they looked amazing together – two incredibly good-looking people, moving seamlessly with the ease of practiced lovers.

* * *

He thought, indeed, that she would object to waiting alone by the entrance while he snuck around the back to try to talk to Sirius. She was, after all, a lady. It turns out Marlene McKinnon is full of surprises.

“Well, you’re damn right I’m not waiting by myself at the gates – “

“I’m sorry, Marlene. I really, really am. But, you see, Sirius was my best friend and I haven’t seen him in years, I never thought I’d see him again…”

“- Who’s going to distract the guards for you?, Marlene triumphantly raised her brow.

“P-pardon?”, asked a confused James.

“Well, they’re a circus, they’re not fancy or anything; but they’re bound to have a bloke or two at the door to keep everything in and out like it’s supposed to. You think they’re just going to let you go marching in because you miss your friend?”

James threw her a look, considering her statement. He took her hand in his, carefully making his way to the back entrance of the circus camp – sure enough, there were two men there: gruff and dirty, with a bottle of whisky between them.

“Yeah, okay, McKinnon. You were right.”, James conceded. “Do you have an idea?”

“I sure do. Let me help. I’ll distract them for you while you go on your merry quest for Sirius.”, she smiled.

“What? No, no way.”

“Why not?”

“Because!”

“Wow, great reason there, Potter.” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Marlene, your parents would skin me alive if they knew I let you talk to these men, much less encouraged it.”

“Then don’t tell them. I know I won’t.” Marlene crossed her arms in front of her chest and shrugged. James threw her a look.

“C’mon, Potter. I’m an adult woman. And I never get to do anything fun. They don’t let us do much of anything at all, actually. Life is quite boring when you have to pretend to be a lady, you know?”, James felt bad for her, he really did. He knew the women of his time did not have many room in their lives for freedom or dreams – or fun, it seemed.

“Besides, I know you really want to talk to Sirius.” He did.

“Yeah, ok, Marlene, sure. Go on with your crazy plan.”, he answered. Marlene smiled and hugged him, tightly and briefly, knocking the air out of him for a second.

“But if anything goes wrong and you endanger yourself, I swear to God I will kill you.”

“Dully noted. Are you going to try to talk to _her_ too?”, the girl asked with a look from someone who knew too much for James’ tastes.

“What are you on about now?”

“Please. I’m not blind. May I remind you that I had to point out you former best friend on stage because you were too busy drooling over that pretty trapeze artist?”

He remained silent, knowing he couldn’t outright contradict her, but not wanting to offend her. She was still his date, and he had liked spending time with her very much. Seeming to sense this, Marlene smiled – not her usual smirk, but a kind curve of the lips.

“Oh, James.”, she said, touching his right arm. “It’s alright. It’s not like we’re betrothed or anything. Friends?”, she offered her hand for him to shake.

“As you wish, Miss McKinnon.”, James answered, inclining his head and holding her hand in his as he kissed it.

“God, you’re so posh.”, said Marlene as she rolled her eyes at him for the umpteenth time that evening. “Let’s get this show on the road, Potter.”

 

* * *

While Marlene pretend to trip in front of the two blokes, making a show of bating her eyelashes and showcasing her pretty ankle, successfully distracting the not-so-professional security of Circus La Folie; James sent a prayer to the skies and dashed inside the camp.

He was hiding behind a mountain of hay – no doubt for the animals kept there, even though James couldn’t see any around at the moment – when he saw her again.

She stood by a small tent, listening to something the bearded lady was telling her - she was wearing a long robe now, pulling out bobby pins out of her hair and saving them in her mouth. Something the other woman said made her giggle – and by God, what a beautiful laugh it was – which sent the bobby pins flying out of her mouth. When the girl bent over to look for them, her hair – no, a wig - fell from its place; revealing long, luscious red locks. James’ feet moved at their on accord, carrying him over to the girl; as he helped pick some bobby pins over the grassy floor and handed them to her, smiling shyly.

Both women regarded him suspiciously, not used to strange men around the camp.

“Ehr, good evening, ladies. Sorry to interrupt your conversation. May I complement you on your singing, ma’am? You have a voice from the angels.”, he said to the bearded lady.

“Oh, thank you, young man! You’re certainly a gentleman… And I don’t think I’m the reason you’re here, so I seem to recall a prior engagement.”, she answered, and left the other two alone, winking at the trapeze artist.

The redhead eyed him with even more distrust now that her friend was gone. She did not seem to think he was a gentleman. Which was truly a shame, because now that he was close to her, he could see how truly gorgeous she was: the long red hair was paired with the greenest eyes he ever saw, wide and intense. Her features were sharp, high cheekbones, just a splash of freckles on the bridge of her upturned nose.

“Thank you for my pins”, she said, not sounding thankful at all.

“You’re welcome?”

“What do you want around here? You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I know, but listen, I’m looking for someone-“

“If you’re one of those gentleman who thinks they can pay circus people to do whatever the hell they want, then you can go fuck yourself. I’m not interested in your money.” She practically spit the words at him.

“What? No! No!”, he gestured widely with his arms, claiming innocence. Her angry expression fell apart.

“Oh. I’m sorry. It’s just… We get some not-so-nice-offers sometimes. Sorry. What is someone like you doing here, anyway, then?”, she asked, looking at his carefully tailored clothes.

“I’m looking for someone. Actually, is that your tent? Maybe we could talk in there for a quick second? I won’t try anything, ehr, untoward, I just don’t fancy being thrown out.”

“Mine and my partner’s.”

“Is your partner one Sirius Black?”

“And how do you know his name? Almost no one around here knows his real last name, except me and Remus.”, she asked, a curious look on her face.

“It’s a long story. But I used to be an old friend. We used to be best friends, actually. And I just really wished I could talk to him.”

Whatever she saw in his face made her trust him, because she said: “Alright. Wait in there.”, she nodded towards the tent. “I’ll go get him.”

“Right. Sounds fair.”

“So what’s your name, stranger?”

“Sorry. I’m James Potter.”

“Lily Evans.” She offered his hands and he kissed it like he had Marlene’s, but this time, his lips were still tingling from her soft skin as he watched her slim form retreat in search of his former best friend.

* * *

“Prongs?”, asked the young man who entered the tent. James felt a tug at his heart, hearing that nickname again.

“Yeah, Padfoot. It’s me.” They both smiled, hesitant. Sirius had always been handsome, claiming attention even at fourteen. And now, at twenty-one, his aristocratic features had grown even more beautiful, paired with long dark hair, grey eyes, and a devil-may-care attitude. He arched his brows in James’ direction, as if asking a question; and the other man answered by getting up from the chair he had been sitting on and hugging Sirius tightly.

Sirius hugged James with equal enthusiasm, reclaiming their lost friendship. When they separated, both men had tears in their eyes – which Sirius quickly wiped away, but James made no mention to hide.

“I never thought I’d see you again.”, said the long-haired man.

“Me neither.”

“How did you find me?”

“Saw you on stage.”

“Then you snuck around back here?”

James nodded. “It’s been-“

“Seven years.”, supplied Sirius. “Yeah. I know.”

The little tent grew silent and tense suddenly.

“What happened, Padfoot?”, asked James, his voice strained. He needed to know.

Sirius looked down, sighed, ran a hand through his hair. “I had do run away.”, he responded.

“You had to ran away?”

“Yes. That’s the truth, alright?”, Sirius said exasperatedly.

“Okay, I believe you.”, James tried to calm him. He knew Sirius always had trouble with his family. They were a nasty bunch, with prejudiced, elitist views; which meant disagreements were bound to happen at the Black home. “Listen, is the circus staying in London?”, he asked. “I’d really like to see you again. I missed you; you know?”

“Yeah, mate, I missed you too.”, said Sirius, smiling again. “Oh, we’re staying in London indefinitely. I reckon the boss is tired of moving this thing around and the crowds here are quite good. We could go out for drinks.”

“Who’s your boss anyway? And how did you learn trapeze?”

“Old man by the name of Albus Dumbledore. Bit of an old kook, but an alright man. You saw him on stage, presenting the show… And Lily taught me everything I know. She’s my partner, the one you saw on the trapeze with me.”

“Your partner?”, asked James, carefully. He had paid attention to Sirius’ phrasing, but that hadn’t revealed anything. He would not get back into his best friend’s life just to be enchanted by his girlfriend. He needed to know now – and prepare, just in case. “Is Lily, I mean-Is she your girlfriend?”

Sirius let out a long sigh once again.

“Look, James. Maybe it’s best if I’m upfront about it. I’m gay.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’. That’s the reason I ran away from home. Dear cousin Bellatrix caught me with another boy, and told the entire family. Dad beat the shite out of me. But mum was the worse. She locked me in the basement, starved me. Cut off my hair. Made me piss and shit in a bucket, charming woman. I was finally able to break the window and get the hell away from there God knows how many days latter. Never came back, never will. But you’re not here to listen to my sob story, so-”, Sirius told him. His sudden departure made sense now. What didn’t make sense was…

“Why didn’t you come to me?”, James asked.

“What?”

“I get why you ran away; your family, these people are horrible. But why didn’t you come to my place instead of going out to the world alone at fourteen? We were best friends. My parents loved you.”

“You mean you would have accepted a gay fourteen year-old kid as your best friend? Taken him in your house?”, asked Sirius, dumbfounded.

“Why not? You’re still you, right?”

For a fleeting second, Sirius wondered what his life would have been like if he had made a different decision that day and gone to the Potters. But he quickly disregarded it, not one to hang onto the past – just happy to have James Potter’s friendship back in his life.

“Still me.”, he grinned, and they made plans to meet at a bar Sirius liked to go, a few days later.

As he exited the small tent, James ruffled his hair and looked backed at Sirius, embarrassed.

“So, you’re not dating Lily, then?”

Sirius bark-like laugh filled the small space. “Ah, so that’s what you’re worried about. Interested, are you?”

“Maybe. Well, yes.”, he admitted, his hands still buried in his chaotic raven hair.

“I can see why. She’s bloody beautiful. But listen, James – Lily’s not a girl to have your fun and be done with.”

“I’m not like that, Padfoot. That’s not how I treat girls. That’s not how I treat _people_. C’mon, you know me.”

“Yeah, Prongs. You always had the biggest heart. But I haven’t seen you in seven years. We were only fourteen. And Lily’s like a sister to me. And whether you want it or not, you two come from very different words. You’re the heir to the Potter fortune and the owner of Marauders Editions. She’s a trapeze artist, with no family and no money.”

“Doesn’t mean a thing to me.”

“It might not. But it does to the rest of the world.”

James looked down, knowing Sirius’ words made sense, but not wanting to believe them.

“Have you known me to give up on anything?”, he asked his long-time friend, a mischievous smirk on his lips.

Sirius laughed again. “Never. Well, I can see she got into your head. I’m not saying don’t go for it; I’m just saying be careful, ok? If you agree to take it slow, I’ll even help you two.”

James framed his friend’s face with both hands, grabbing him and kissing his cheek. “Thanks, Pads! I knew I could count on you!”, he said, and ran out of the tent, leaving Sirius Black shaking his head and wondering just how much his life would change now that James Potter was back in it.


	2. In the air tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Lily and Remus dance to is I won't dance, sung by Fred Astaire; and the book mentioned by Lily and James at the end of the chapter is Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy. ( Seems pretty obvious, but I feel like I need to mention it. Also, yeah, I do love my references.)
> 
> This chapter has nothing to do with The Greatest Showman, but we will get back to some of its themes later). And I have included some HP parallels, which I hope someone will like.
> 
> Reminder: I don't have a beta, so please forgive me! :)

It had been around two months since James first went to the circus. Ever since that evening, Lily kept seeing his unruly mop of black hair in the crowd at least once a week. The first time it happened, she nearly lost her footing, but managed to pass it of as part of the routine. The other times, she learned to expect him, to search for his face in the sea of people watching her.

Sirius told her about his constant meetings with him at The Order, Sirius’ favourite bar ran by the friendly twin brothers called Gideon and Fabian Prewett. He and James would stay out well into the night, drinking whisky and making up for those lost years.

That time, though, Sirius entered their tent with different plans.

“Hey, Red.”, he said as he climbed into the cot with her. “You want to come to The Order with me and Remus to meet James tonight?”

“Are the twins opening The Attic?”, she asked.

“Yeah. First time for James and everything.”

“Count me in.”, Lily smiled.

She chose one of her best dresses and styled her hair carefully in fashionable waves. She told herself that had nothing to do with the company of a certain bespectacled gentleman, but every time she thought about meeting him later, she felt a tinge of anticipation.

* * *

 

If you knew The Attic – so aptly named because it was literally the attic of Gideon and Fabian’s house – you felt like you were in on the best secret in London. All you had to do was go past the back door at The Order, walk through a small hallway and climb the stairs. There, you could find a mix of mismatched furniture, a gramophone and an ample selection of vinyl records, plenty of food and drinks, and the nicest, most interesting people Lily had ever met.

She was sitting in a couch with Remus – he was trying to throw peanuts into her open mouth while she inelegantly tried to catch them – when Sirius returned to the room with James at his heels.

“Thought you only did this with your animals.”, joked Sirius.

“Normally, yes, but you left, so I had to keep myself entertained somehow.”, Remus shrugged.

“Oi, shove it, you two. A girl might get offended one of these days.”, said Lily in mocked seriousness.

“Yeah, but you won’t.”, Sirius smirked. “Anyway - Remus, Lily, this is James Potter. James, these are Remus Lupin and Lily Evans. I’m sure you’ve all heard about one another at this point.”

James stepped past Sirius and offered his hand to Remus, who stood up to shake it.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Lupin.”, said James, with a formality that didn’t suit the bright look in his eyes and the energy that seemed to radiate of his body.

“Please, call me Remus, Mr. Potter. I’m very glad to meet you as well.”,

“It’s James, please.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re all good pals, are we done with the formalities?”, asked Sirius.

James chuckled and looked at her. He kissed her hand, smiling that charming crooked smile and asked: “How are you doing, Miss Evans?”

“I’m alright.”, she smiled back. “How are you, stranger?”

“Oh, I’m wonderful. Is it okay if I sit?”, he asked, indicating the empty spot by her side. Sirius and Remus had already pulled up chairs.

“Sure.”, she agreed.

“You have animals, Remus?”, asked James, referring to Sirius’ earlier remark.

“No animals of my own, although I do suppose they’re mine, in a way.”, Remus answered. “I take it Sirius’ told you I work in the circus as well?”

James nodded.

“I take care of the animals that take part in the performances there.” The boy lifted the sleeves of his dress shirt, allowing James to see his pale arms. They were littered with scars. He had a couple, less pronounced, on his neck and face as well.

“Wow, I’m… I’m sorry?” James said. Lily could feel he was at a loss for words.

“It’s not exactly their fault. They’re locked up in tiny cages all the time, and some of the performers abuse them.”, Remus gave him a sad smile. “Sirius said it’s your first time here?”

“Yes. As you probably know, we come to the bar a lot, but I’ve never been up here. This is quite an amazing place!”, said James, his eyes wandering around the little room.

“Had to wait to get Gideon and Fabian’s approval. I told them they could trust you, but you have to understand, they have to see it for themselves, as it’s their house, their business and all.”, Sirius pointed out.

“But what’s the big deal? Isn’t this just their attic?”, asked James, confused.

“The thing is, James, this is a special place to a lot of people. It’s the only place where we get to have fun while being ourselves.”, Lily explained. “Do you see Dorcas and Emmeline over there?”, she asked, pointing towards two young girls laughing as they poured a glass of some drink. James nodded. “They’re a couple. As you know Sirius and Remus here are. And Mary, by the gramophone?”, Lily pointed again, this time to a thin black girl who swayed her hips to the music. “She’s Gideon’s girlfriend. In most places, they don’t look too kindly at an interracial couple, or a gay couple, or even a single woman alone. Here, we’re just all good friends, having fun.”

James ran his hands through his hair, looking astonished. “God, I’m such a prat, aren’t I? I just didn’t think…”

“It’s okay, James. We know you didn’t mean anything by it.”, Remus tranquilized him.

“I mean, it’s just, every place should be like this them… People shouldn’t have to hide! You’re not doing anything wrong!”, James passionately argued.

“Yeah, tell me about it, mate. It’s fucked up, alright.”, Sirius said.

“Why don’t we talk about something more pleasant for out first night out together? The problems of our society will still be there in the morning.”, Remus, ever the peacemaker, suggested.

“Agreed, love.”, Sirius softened, resting his hand on Remus’ thigh. But just then, Lily heard the first notes of a familiar tune, breaking into a huge smile.

“Remus, it’s our song!”, she announced, as she stood up and grabbed the boy’s hand, pulling him to his feet.

She saw James’ confused face and heard Sirius’ booming, bark-like laughter as she pulled a soft-smiling, resigned Remus to the centre of the room – the makeshift dance floor – just as Fred Astaire started singing.

 

_I won't dance, don't ask me_

_I won't dance, don't ask me_

_I won't dance, Madame, with you_

_My heart won't let my feet do the things they should do_

Remus barely moved around at all; he performed the entire song like an actor on stage, making silly faces and “no” hand gestures. Lily danced even with – almost – no partner; her long, mint green skirt swaying as she twirled prettily, her head thrown back as she laughed at Remus.

_Say, you know what? You're lovely_

_You know what? You're lovely, but oh, what you do to me_

_I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore_

_I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor_

She danced with her friend as usual, doing their mock routine; but when Remus spun her around, she felt another set of hands – bigger, warmer hands than that of her current dance partner – settle on her waist and the next moment she found herself snuggled up against James Potter’s chest.

 

_I know that music leads the way to romance_

_So if I hold you in my arms… I won't dance!_

Stupid Fred Astaire. What would she be doing in James Potter’s arms besides dancing?

“May I cut in?”, he asked.

Remus just nodded and left them with a knowing smile on his thin lips. Lily kept looking at him through her eyelashes. They were so close now and he was so tall. She couldn’t help but notice the myriad of colours in his hazel eyes, the brown mixed up with green and gold.

“Ehr, Lily?”, he asked, his previous smooth demeanour gone. “Is this okay? Am I making you uncomfortable? I can ask Remus to come back if you don’t want to dance with me.”

“Oh, no!”, Lily clarified, perhaps too hastily, when she realized she hadn’t said anything or moved at all. “This is quite alright.”, she responded, smiling mischievously and adjusting her hands around his neck, as they moved slowly to the rhythm of an instrumental tune.

* * *

The door to The Attic busted open, the loud noise interrupting their conversation. A ginger-haired, older looking couple that Lily had never seen around came in, the short woman walking ahead with a purposeful strike, almost running, while her husband walked calmly right behind her. For a moment, Lily looked at James with eyes as wide as saucers, fearing someone had discovered them, somehow. But then Fabian came in right behind the couple, laughing his arse off.

“Molly! What are you doing here? Don’t you two have three screaming children to take care off?”

“Last time I checked, Fabian, dear, you were my baby brother, _not_ my father! Besides, the boys are fine. They’re at the Longbottom’s. Alice thinks it’s good practice.”, Molly answered. Lily could see the family resemblance with the twins, now that she knew to look for it.

Fabian had an amused grin on his face as he wiped a glass with a white cloth. He looked past his sister, at her husband, apparently searching for his input on the matter. The other man simply shrugged, smiling.

“Now if you excuse me, Arthur and I will have a night of much needed fun.”, the woman added.

“Sure, dear sister.”, Fabian said, kissing her cheek. “Try not passing out on the couch on the next half-hour.”

Molly scoffed and pulled her husband to the dance floor; where they started to dance enthusiastically right next to an elegant Sirius and a still-reluctant Remus.

“Don’t tell Remus, but I think you might be the better dancer.”, fake-whispered Lily.

“Yes, well, he’s the better performer, though, hands down.”, responded James.

“Circus folk. Hang out with us long enough and you’ll get the hang of it.”

“It will be my pleasure, Miss Evans.”, said James looking at her intently.

People said that Sirius was handsome; and he was, indeed, very beautiful. But he had never made her feel nervous or excited just by looking at her. She never felt her skin tingling when they touched, or had to pay attention to her breathing so she wouldn’t sigh out loud. Yes, Sirius might be beautiful; but James Potter… James Potter was magnetic.

“They seem to care for each other very much.”, he said, indicating their friends who were now happily embracing each other.

“Yeah.”, Lily smiled. “They make a very endearing couple.”

“They do. I’m glad he’s happy. That he has found you two.”, he added with a touch of melancholy in his voice.

“You wish he had never left you.”, she guessed.

“That’s sort of difficult to answer. I know he had to leave. And I really am grateful and happy he found you and Remus, who seem to make him happy and take care of him. But yeah… To be honest, a part of me wished he never left me.”

“I understand it must have been hard to lose your best friend. But hey, you have him back now.”, Lily tried to cheer him up. “And maybe two new friends, how’s that?”

“Will you be my friend, Miss Evans.”

“If you win me over, Mr. Potter.”

“Oh, I’m trying.”

Lily hoped she wasn’t blushing.

“How did you two meet anyway?”, James asked.

“Me and Sirius? I thought he would have told you.”

“I wanted to ask you.”

“Alright. I think it was about a year after he ran away from home, because we were both around fifteen or sixteen. I was at this fair and there was this boy; very handsome, but painfully thin and filthy, who stole an apple from one of the stalls. The vendor saw it and was downright furious about it. He was gonna call the police for this boy, who was clearly hungry, about a fucking apple. So I pretended to be with him, and payed for the apple, more them it was worth too, just so the man would shut up about it. Sirius wasn’t too thrilled about it at first, mind you. He was sure I wanted something from him.”

James laughed. “Oh, that sounds like Sirius alright.”

“Yeah, we rowed a bit then, actually.”, Lily recalled fondly, laughing along. “But then we ended up talking and I got him a job cleaning up at the circus so he wouldn’t have to steal food anymore and grow up a proper, healthy boy. And the rest is history.”

“But you two pretend to be a couple?”, he posed it as question, but it wasn’t really. He already knew they did.

“Oh, it started as a laugh, at first. People would assume, because we were together all the time, and we would joke around and not correct them. But them we thought it rather worked in our advantage – it kept unwanted advances away from me and it kept people from finding out about his sexual orientation. It protects us.”

“What about Remus, though?”

“He doesn’t mind, I think. Of course, he would prefer that they could be a couple out in the open. We all would like for the world to be that place. But until them, he prefers that Sirius is safe. He’s so selfless, that one.”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

“Isn’t it a bother for you to pretend to be with a man you’re not really with, even if you do love him as a friend? What if you want to date someone?”

“I have my ways, I’ve had a boyfriend or two. You just have to learn to get the right information to the right people.”, Lily winked. “But I never met anyone truly special, so I never asked Sirius to step down, which he would. Why do you ask?”

“I might know a bloke who’s interested in the information.”  
“Oh, is he handsome?”, Lily asked, smirking.

“The popular opinion seems to be rather positive.”

“And a good dancer?”

“A very pretty girl once told him so.”

“This is starting to get interesting… You won’t tell him about my lack of etiquette earlier with the peanuts, will you?”

“He appreciates a girl who can have fun.”

“Does he?”, she asked, arching her eyebrows.

“Very much.”

“Seems promising. I suppose I’ll know it when I see him.”, she sighed jokingly. “In the meantime, I’ll just keep talking to you.” , she flashed him another smile. “So, what do you do for a living, Mr. Potter?”, she asked, realizing she had no idea what he did all day.

“Ehr, I – my family, actually, owns Marauders Editions. I’m the current president of the company.”, James explained, running his hand through his hair.

“You-you own Marauders Editions?!”, Lily almost screamed. That was unbelievable.

“Well, me and my mum.”, James insisted.

“Yeah, but… That’s amazing!”

“It is.”, he smiled broadly. “I take it you like reading?”

“I bloody love it! You print books for a living! That’s awesome!”

He seemed to think for a moment, and then: “Would you like to see it?”

“See it? The books?”, she asked, confused.

He just nodded.

“What, now?”

Again, he didn’t say anything, just offered his hand to her – big, warm, beautiful, and surprisingly calloused for a boy with such a posh upbringing.

She took it.

* * *

As James fiddled with his keys, trying to find the right fit for the big padlock at the front gate; Lily stared at the red brick building in front of her. It was surprisingly beautiful for a business and quite big. James opened the front iron gate and gestured for her to come inside, which she did, following him through a path that led to the front door.

“This time, I’ll get it right on the first try, you’ll see.”, he joked, pointing at the lock on the door. Lily smiled – she didn’t really mind waiting, as long as it was in his company.

“A-ha! I told you!”, he said, as the lock gave in on the first try and they came inside.

“Aren’t you a little old to say that?”, Lily asked.

“We’re never to old to brag about our successes, small as they may seem. Would you like a tour, Miss Evans?”, he offered her his arm, which she promptly took.

“I’d be delighted, Mr. Potter.”

He took her down to the main room with the big rotary presses. In the middle of the night, with just the two of them, they were immersed in silenced; but seeing those big machines, the bundles of pages carefully knotted in the corners, the faint smell of ink and glue, it was almost impossible not to imagine how that room would look during the day, when they would print countless pages that would bring stories to people.

“So all of this belongs to you and your mum. What about your dad? If I’m not intruding.”, Lily asked.

“The business runs in his family, actually. He passed away a year ago.”, James answered with a sombre look in his eyes.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I should have never asked.”

“It’s alright. I mean, it’s not, but it’s really not your fault… Sirius mentioned you didn’t have any family.”

Lily felt her heart tighten.

“Yes, I suppose that’s true, in a way. My parents passed away a long time ago, and I don’t have any other living relatives. Technically, I do have a sister. We used to be close as children, but once our parents died, we were never able to see eye to eye, and drifted apart. She never forgave me for joining the circus and not choosing a traditional lifestyle like hers, she feels like I’m disrespecting our family.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say to your sister. Also, incredibly idiotic.”

“Yeah, I know. Still, I miss her. She’s married to this hideous man who looks like a human walrus and who hates me, so it doesn’t help… But I do like to think that Sirius and Remus are my family now.”

“From what I’ve seen and heard, I think they feel that way about you too.”

“Thanks, James.”

“Shall we continue? I have something to show you, I think you’re going to like…”, he proposed.

They climbed the stairs to the second floor, where he showed her around a few offices, including his own, and then led her through a long corridor to what seemed to be the last room on the place. He pulled the keys out of his pocket again, unlocking the plain wooden door, making Lily wonder what might be behind it.

“I hope you like it”, James said. “Please, come in.”

Lily entered the room just as he turned on the lights, and she found herself completely surrounded by books. Each wall of the not-so-small room was covered from bottom to top by beautiful leather bounded editions. There were some even on the wooden desks at the centre. The covers she could see were definitely hand-painted and some had that golden touch on the pages. There was also a printing press on the corner of the room, a much smaller and older machine than the ones downstairs, but it looked like it functioned.

“Wow.”, was all she could say.

“We use this room for printing our special editions. And we keep one book from each title we print. I thought you might like to look around.”

“May I?”, Lily asked excitedly

“Of course.”

_Peter Pan. The picture of Dorian Grey. Emma. Les Misérables. Far from the Madding Crowd. Great Expectations. Romeo & Juliet. The Hound of the Baskervilles. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. The Age of Innocence. Frankenstein. Jane Eyre… _Her eyes travelled through each title as she ran her long fingers through the spines. Some books were familiar, some were not; some she had read, most she didn’t. Lily’s eyes stopped when they spotted an old favourite, this edition with a leather maroon cover and golden designs. _Anna Karenina._

“He stepped down, trying not to look at her, as if she were the sun…”, Lily mumbled to herself as she took the book out of the shelf and started to look through its pages.

“Yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”, James finished the sentence for her, his voice confident as he came closer to her. “Do you like it? That’s a stupid question, of course you do, you can say the lines.”

“You can too, apparently.” , she answered, continuing her walk around the room.

“Yeah, well, Levin and I are kindred spirits. I admire his determination and his love for Kitty.”

“So you’re a romantic?”, Lily asked, mostly to make keep him talking while she processed the fact that he proclaimed himself a “kindred spirit” to one of her favourite book characters.

“I’m most definitely a romantic, Miss Evans. Aren’t you?”

“I’m still on the fence about that.”, she willed herself not to say that she would really love it if he would help her make up her mind in that matter. “Can you work one of those?”, she asked, turning towards the printing press and fidgeting with some outer parts.

“Honestly? I have a basic idea of how they work, but I never actually had to work them myself. So it’s a 50/50 chance of everything turning out okay and readable.”

Lily laughed, turning around and facing him again. James gave her a funny look and reached for her, gently touching her face.

“You’ve got an ink mark, right here.”, he said, his fingers feather-light on her cheek, causing shivers all over her body. She looked down at her hands and saw the black ink staining them.

“I guess it was still wet.”, she shrugged. Following an impulse, she took the step that separated them and quickly touched James Potter’s nose, smearing ink all over it.

Lily thought his look of surprise was worth it.

“Aha, so that’s how it is, huh?”, James asked, still with the astonished expression on his face, and Lily was laughing so much, she didn’t she it when he reached with both hands across the inked surface of the printing press and left two deformed handprints across her arms.

“You madman!”, Lily announced. “It looks like I’ve been attacked by a dirty caveman or something.”

Excited for their little game, she wet her hand once again on the press, and ran her finger through James’ neck, starting at the base of his throat and following his rather beautiful jawline. But she saw his eyes change while she touched him, she could tell he was no longer thinking about anything funny. She took a tiny step forward, allowing her chest to touch his; and that seemed to be all the encouragement he needed, because his lips came crashing down on hers.

It was the loveliest thing; being held between his warm body and the bookcase, the smell of James mixed with the ink and pages, while he cradled her face, held her waist and kissed her until she saw stars.

Suddenly, he stopped kissing her instantly, as if remembering something, and backed away.

“I’m sorry, Lily! I’m so sorry!”, he said, his face clearly worried.

“What, James? I don’t understand– “

“Your dress.”, he pointed at her waist, where two black handprints were largely visible on the fine fabric, as if proudly on display.

Lily smiled, relieved.

“I don’t care.”, she whispered, breathless, and pulled his hands back where they belonged – all over her body.

* * *

“You little tart.”

Lily woke up the next day with Sirius joking and throwing her dress at her face. Admittedly, it did have handprints all over it.

“Shut up, Sirius. Like you’re the picture of purity.”, Lily answered, stretching a leg out of the cot so she could kick his arse.

“Those are James’ hands, right? Unless you found some other random bloke.”

“No, it was James, thank you very much.”, she said, accepting the mug of tea he was offering.

“Yeah, I figured. You two looked ready to shag when you ran out of The Attic yesterday. Almost woke up poor Molly and Arthur when you did too, very rude.”

Lily smiled in her mug, remembering the sweet couple asleep on the couch, despite their best efforts.

“We did not shag.”, she protested.

“Yet.”, Sirius amended.

Lily hesitated.

“I notice you are not correcting me.”

She simply shrugged and Sirius bark-like laughed soon made an appearance.

“Yeah, when you too get married, just remember that it was I, Sirius Black, who introduced you two in the first place.”, he pompously announced as he made his way out of their tent. “Oh, I almost forgot! This came for you.” Sirius added, handing her a rectangular box. “Clive said someone delivered it early in the morning.”

Lily untangled the simple ribbon and opened the unadorned box. There was no card, nothing scribbled atop the cardboard; but there was no doubt who was the sender of that beautiful _Anna Karenina_ edition in maroon leather and golden designs.


	3. I've been waiting for this moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if anyone was waiting for this! :/  
> Life got super crazy...

James Potter had always been happy and lively, but you don’t wake up singing in the morning unless you’re in love.

Euphemia observed, week after week, how James always had a perpetual grin on his face. How he seemed to get distracted at odd times. How he would go out much more frequently than before, always carefully dressed up.

She waited patiently for her son to approach her with the good news that he had finally followed her advice and found himself a girl, but he was being unusually mysterious about it, and she would have no more of this nonsense.

“Good evening, dear”, she called from the living room parlour when she saw James coming down the stairs and crossing their entrance hall. Her son changed directions, heading towards the sofa where she sat reading.

“Good evening, mum”, he answered, kissing her cheek.

“Going out?”, she asked, patting the place beside her on the upholstery. He sat down quickly.

“Yes, Sirius and I-“

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re all dressed up like that to go out with Sirius.”

“Mum-“

“And don’t try to say you’re dressing up for Marlene either. You told me so yourself that the two of you became good friends. Now, what’s her name, dear?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can’t I just dress up a bit every now and then?”  
“Sure. Now, I’m asking again, what’s her name, James?”

“Lily”, he answered, not being capable of containing his smile while saying her name.

“Lily, huh?”, Euphemia savoured the name triumphantly on her tongue, as if she could measure the girl by it. _Lily_ , whoever she was, was the source of her son’s happiness, and she needed to discover more.

“She’s amazing, mum. She’s so beautiful, clever, funny. Just, astounding, really.”

“I see”, smirked Euphemia. “Bring her around the house, will you, James? I’d love to meet her. And in case you’re wondering, no, that’s not optional. Have fun on your date, dear”, she dismissed him, having issued her orders.

                                                                                                              * * *

The night air was crisp and pleasant, the smell of the recently fallen rain invading their senses as soon as they walked out of the cinema. The young couple immediately started walking hand in hand on the cobblestone street, fingers intertwined as the redheaded girl happily swung their arms back and forth between them.

“Admit, you loved the movie”, Lily said. “You laughed the entire time”.

“It may have been funny, yes. But mostly because of Irene Dunne”, conceded James.

“She’s amazing, yes. But so is Cary.”

“You’re only saying that because you think he’s handsome.”

“And you’re only saying he’s not because you’re jealous!”, Lily smiled, bopping James on the nose. “Anyway… He reminds me of you a bit.”

“Does he?”, James asked, his interest immediately perking up.

“Yes. Not physically, of course. But, I don’t know, in the way you behave. Both of you are like handsome clowns. In one minute, you’re jumping up and down and making everyone laugh; in the other you’re charming everyone.”

“So you think I’m handsome, huh, Miss Evans?”, he asked, jumping ahead and putting his body in front of hers.

“Oh God, I bet that’s the only word you heard out of everything I said”, Lily rolled her eyes.

“I heard ‘charming’ too.”

“You’re insufferable”, Lily said, but her smile turned the words into something else. James cradled her face gently with his hands, caressing her cheeks.

 **“** And yet, you’re still with me. I should enjoy my luck then”, he said, pulling her into a soft kiss.

“Have I told you you’re very beautiful today? I like the slacks”, James pointed out when they resumed their walking.

“Do you? Tuney still thinks that the fact that I wear trousers it’s a personal offence to her.”

“She’s probably bitter because you look amazing in them.”

“I think you just like looking at my bum.”

“Wow, very cheeky, Miss Evans.”

“Maybe. But am I lying?”

“No, you are not”, James confessed, hugging her from behind and burying his nose in her neck.

“Stop! It tickles!”, Lily giggled, calling the attention of a few passer-by’s on the street. A group of women stared at them reproachfully; but an elderly couple smiled and nodded at them, to which Lily and James smiled in return.

“I got a surprise for you.” James announced.

“Really? What is it?”

James pulled two pieces of yellowish paper out of his pocket, handing them over to Lily. In a neat, beautifully drawn calligraphy, it was written: _The London Opera House presents – Carmen_.

“You said you always wanted to go the opera.”

“Oh, James. Are you sure? This is too much. I don’t even have anything to wear-“

“I can get you a dress.”

“James Potter, I absolutely forbid you to buy me a dress.”

“Alright, Alright”, James complied, understanding the tone on her voice. “But just say you’ll come. Please. I’ve invited the guys too, and Marlene.”

“Okay. I’ll come.”, she surrendered, melting into his arms again before he walked her home.

                                                                                                                   * * *

“Are you sure your sister won’t mind?”, Lily asked as she tugged the silver fabric of the dress to her body in front of Marlene’s bedroom mirror.

“Of course not. Claire has hundreds of these. She said I could grab any of them for you.”, Marlene answered from her place on the bed.

“That’s very kind of her.”

“Yes, well, I suppose she can be nice, on occasion”, Marlene joked. In truth, she was very affectionate towards her younger sister. “Why don’t you try it on?”, she offered.

Still standing in front of the mirror, Lily pulled the soft material up her body, where it hugged her curves and created beautiful designs. It didn’t look like a dress borrowed from her friend’s sister. It looked like it never belonged anywhere else.

“Damn, girl. James won’t know what to do with himself tonight, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, Marlene, stop it”, Lily answered, blushing. But she did think she looked good in it, and she sure hoped James would think so too.

“C’mon, you know you look amazing. Now take it off before it gets wrinkled and come here so we can do each other’s hair.”

Lily obeyed, putting the dress aside and sitting in front of Marlene on the bed as the brunette girl fussed over her red locks.

“I missed this”, she said, sighing over the feel of Marlene’s hands on her hair and the easy conversation between them.

“Missed what?”

“Having a sister.”

Marlene’s arms immediately closed around Lily’s waist, her head resting against the redhead’s back as they hugged. Lily reached for Marlene’s hands and gave them a squeeze, reassured by the other girl’s presence.

“Now… Don’t you dare ruin that beautiful make-up I put on your face”, warned Marlene when she pulled back from the hug, even though her own eyes were the ones threatening to spill with tears.

“Thanks, Marley”, said Lily, smiling softly.

“Yeah… Now let me finish this, we can’t be late”, Marlene mumbled as she busied her hands again in Lily’s hair.

                                                                                                                        * * *

Much later in the evening, when the red velvety curtains were drawn to a close and the whole audience of _Carmen_ was giving a standing ovation to its performers, Lily clung to James, her whole body humming with excitement.

“Oh, James, thank you. I can’t think of anything more beautiful.”

“Well, I can”, he answered, tucking a finger beneath her chin and lifting it so he could kiss her.

“You think you’re so smooth, don’t you?”, Lily teased, but her cheeks were blushing a bright pink as they made their way towards the exit, and James thought she looked so adorable, he just smirked.

“Did you enjoy it?”, she asked louder, directing the question to her three friends.

“Opera is not usually my cup of tea, but I have to say, this one was alright. Interesting story, huh?”, Marlene said, adjusting the sleeves of her rosé dress.

“I thought it wonderful”, Remus exclaimed.

“How would you know? You barely took your eyes of the programme!”, Sirius teased him as they descended the stairs.

“I like to keep myself informed”, Remus answered.

“What did you think, Sirius?”, asked Marlene.

“Meh, the whole thing’s a bit too posh for me. The toreador guy was hot, though.”

“What he means is, he almost wept like a baby”, chuckled Remus, his laughter cut short by Sirius’ elbow on his ribs.

“Mr. Potter?”, a female voice cut through their group. James’ head whipped around, searching in the theatre lobby for the one who called him, and coming face to face with the not-so-pleasant surprise of Mrs. Geraldine Rosier, accompanied by her husband and son.

“Good evening, Mrs. Rosier. Gentlemen”, James nodded politely, even though from his past interactions with that family, these men were anything but gentlemen. Francis and Anthony Rosier nodded in return and mumbled a few unenthusiastic words of greeting.

“Oh, and Miss McKinnon as well! What a delight”, crooned Mrs. Rosier.

“Yes, isn’t it?”, said Marlene, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Excuse me, I have to powder my nose.”

“And we will, ehr, escort her”, Remus said. “Excuse us. Have a good evening.”

The traitors have left he and Lily alone with the Rosiers.

“I don’t believe I have met those, hm, charming young men”, the old woman continued, her husband and son looking more bored by the second. At least they could breathe a sigh of relief that she appeared to have no recognition of Sirius. The Blacks family did not care either way what happened to his friend by now, but he had no desire to find out what sort of situation a woman like that could create.

“They’re old friends”, he answered simply.

“Of course”, Mrs Rosier twisted her mouth. “Although, I do find this young woman familiar…”, she said, her sharp, bird-like eyes turning in an flash towards Lily’s frame; who threw James a questioning, almost pleading look. But he was just as lost as she was.

“Yes, yes, I have seen her before. In that god-awful place your cousin dragged us into, Francis.”

“The Circus?”, her husband answered with a deep frown, speaking for the first time.

“Indeed. This girl is one of the performers. Aren’t you?”, questioned the woman.

Lily gave a little nod, too stunned to react. James noticed that Anthony’s eyes were no longer glazed over from boredom and roaming the room, but alight with hunger and attached to his girlfriend’s frame.

“I knew it. My eyesight is still the best in London”, she announced triumphantly. “James, dear. Take an advice from an old woman. Chose someone closer to your station. She may look pretty on your arm and may even appear like one of us if you dress her up”, she nodded towards their clasped hands and the silver dress. “But to her, that dress will always be a costume. She could never become anything else than what she is. And you don’t want to be with such a vulgar little girl.”

James felt his hand tense in Lily’s. The one thing that kept him from strangling that horrid woman was Lily’s whisper in his ear, her plea of “James, don’t” as she squeezed his hand. Her voice was breaking and he wanted nothing more in the world than to hold her and kiss away those awful words they heard, but he noticed that, as Geraldine and Francis Rosier walked away, their son Anthony had stayed behind.

“Do you want anything?”, James spat out, all traces of courtesy gone.

“I’d like to apologize for my mother’s behaviour”, the other man answered evenly.

“Oh”, of all the things Anthony could have said, James had not expected that.

“Yes. My mother does not understand the appeal of women like your _girlfriend_ here.”

“Pardon?”, James said. He didn’t understand and was a bit afraid of learning what Anthony meant.

“She’s the trapeze artist, yeah? The one who does all those contortionist tricks on the trapeze?”, Anthony said, his leering gaze once again on Lily’s body. He moved closed to James, as if they were both in on a secret together. “I mean, you’re obviously not gonna marry her. But it’s certainly worth bringing her around the Opera a few times if it gets her to move like _that_ on your bed. I’d certainly appreciate the opportunity.”

And then James’ fist connected with Rosier’s jaw in an in instant, both men tumbling down on the floor. He felt Lily’s thin hands trying to pull them apart and not succeeding, heard her voice yelling for Sirius and Remus, but it all seemed very far away, because all he wanted to do was punch Rosier into the Opera ground.

Them a different set of hands, stronger and capable pulled him of Rosier. Remus, used to dealing with animals, which is what he supposed he resembled at the moment. He got up to his feet to see Sirius had a hold on the other man and was walking him out of the theatre. He had some sort of satisfaction to see that he had beaten that snobby face to a bloody pulp.

“You will want to give him an extra kick for what he said about Lily”, James called after Sirius, who stopped and arched his eyebrows in cold examination of Rosier.

“Huh. Will do, mate”, his friend answered, tightening his hold in Rosier’s arms and twisting then at an odd angle as he walked him out of the doors.

“What the hell happened after we left?”, asked Marlene.

James and Lily shared a look, and he understood she did not want what happened to be spoken about.

“Nothing. We… The Rosiers were unkind. Things got a little heated, that’s all”, James explained. “Just a minute, I need to go to the washroom”, he said, showing his bloody hand. He gingerly kissed Lily’s hair and ran for the washroom to wash away the remains of that fight.

                                                                                                                        * * *

When Sirius arrived at his tent in the Circus an hour later, swinging his tuxedo jacket in a finger and whistling happy from Remus’ kisses; it was to find his best friend looking deranged, with both of his hands buried in his hair as he paced around – a circular trail already drawn on the gravel path before the tent’s entrance.

“Prongs?”

“Sirius! Oh, thank God”, James came to him desperately, clutching the fabric of the white shirt in his hands. “Where’s Lily?”

“Whoa, mate, slow down. What do you mean, where’s Lily?”

“She’s not with you? You don’t know where she is?”

“No. I thought she was with you and Marlene. What’s going on, James?”, Sirius asked for an explanation as James ran a hand through his white-as-a-ghost face.

“I have no idea what’s going on. I just went to wash myself for a bit and when I returned only Marlene was there. She said that Remus had gone out with you and that Lily had gone to the washroom too. We waited, and waited but she never came outside. Marley went into the washroom to look for her, cause we thought maybe she was feeling sick or something? But she wasn’t there. We looked all over the theatre. Then I dropped Marlene home and came here; but she’s not on your tent, and I even checked Remus’ and she’s not there either! I would have checked The Order if I didn’t know for a fact that they’re closed by now. And now I’m going crazy because what if something happened to her because of what those gits said to her! And maybe I shouldn’t have hit him, cause then I would have just stayed with her…”

“James, James!”, Sirius interrupted him, snapping his fingers to gain his friends attention. “What did those people say to her?”

“Shit, Padfoot. I don’t even want to repeat it. But that woman said I should “look for someone ‘closer to my station’. Said Lily was ‘vulgar’ ”, James scoffed, putting all his derision in that sound. “And that wanker of her son said something about getting Lily into bed”.

Sirius spit on the floor. “I should’ve fucking murdered Rosier and sent him in a gift basket to his bitch of a mother.”

“My sentiments exactly. But right now I’m much more concerned about Lily.”

“Give me a second, okay, Prongs?”, Sirius asked, clasping a hand James’ shoulder. “I think I know where she is. Just let me talk to her first. Then I’ll come and get you.”

James took a deep breath. He certainly didn’t want to delay his meeting with Lily, but then again, without Sirius, there might not be a meeting at all, and his friend was making an honest request. “Alright. Let her know I’m waiting for her. Always.”

“Sure thing, mate.”

He didn’t have to walk for long when left James in his tent. Just a few paces ahead, there was a light – very dim, but undeniably present if you, like Sirius, were looking for it – coming from the main tent of the Circus de La Folie. He tiptoed inside and found, just as he expected, Lily’s lithe figure hanging from the trapeze.

“Come down. And stop moping in the dark. You’re better than this. Certainly much better than them”, Sirius said, pulling up a chair from the audience and sitting down.

“Stop telling me what to do”, came Lily’s response. “I see James told you what happened.”

“In very few words, and only because I asked, but that’s not the point. He’s worried about you Lily. He’s outside, looking pretty desperate.”

“He’s outside?”, Lily asked, her eyes softening a bit.

“Yeah. He says you disappeared.”

“He’s sweet. I guess it was nice while it lasted.”

“Really, Lily? Come down here, right now, please”, Sirius demanded, getting another fold-up chair and setting it next to his side. Lily sighed, but acquiesced, pulling down the rope and getting down.

“Yes?”

“You’re really going to let what those wankers said get between you and James? It doesn’t make any sense. You know it just isn’t true. You two are brilliant together. Sometimes nauseatingly so”, said Sirius.

“Well, James and I may be brilliant together, and the Rosiers may be wankers. But there is some truth to what they said. I’m never going to be some rich society girl. And who are we kidding here, Sirius?” , she said, her eyes pooling with unshed tears. “What is the heir to the Potter fortune, owner and president of Marauders edition doing with a trapeze artist? Even if he loved me…”, her voice cracking, breaking just like her heart while she realized the possibility she dreamed of was doomed before it even existed. “…the people around him would never accept me. And he would eventually leave.”

“Oh, Lily, dear”, Sirius gently brushed away a tear on her cheek. “James does not care about that poncy arse bullshit, okay? I cannot speak for him, but I think he likes you very, very much. He would still like you, not matter what. You could be orange and have three arms and he’d still proudly walk you down the street like the happiest man on earth, believe me.”

“I’d like to, Sirius, but I just don’t think life works that way. I think he and I come from two very different worlds.”

“Look, I’m not the man for this job, yeah? He’s outside. Talk to him. Give him a real chance.”

Lily just nodded while Sirius announced, “I’ll send him in, then.”

* * *

James pushed the flap of the tent cautiously, as if by the care of his movements he could transmit how much he cared for her. He found Lily standing at the centre of the arena, handling one of the ropes of the trapeze. She was no longer in Claire’s fancy silver dress; but had changed into some sort of clothes he assumed she wore for rehearsals, her long red hair in a messy half-ponytail.

“Sirius said I could find you here”, he started sheepishly.

“Yeah… He knows me too well sometimes”, she answered. He noticed her hands were red and marked, from grabbing the rope too forcefully, he imagined.

“Talk to me, Lily. Please. You were just gone. How did you even get out of there?”, he said, sitting down on the chair Sirius had vacated.

“I snuck out of the window. I work in a Circus, remember?”, she lifted her arms in a “look around” motion. “Sorry for that. I just had to go. I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Are you mad at me for punching that guy? I know you’d asked me not to do anything, but honestly-“

“I’m not mad at you, James.”

“Then why didn’t you just grabbed me right then and let me walk you home?”

He saw her whole body tremble with a sigh before she said, her eyes turning away from him: “Because you would have just made this a lot harder.”

“What is ‘this’, Lily? And please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say, ‘cause that’s just ridiculous…”, James exclaimed, panicking.

“We can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what? Be incredibly happy together?”

“We can’t keep kidding ourselves that this is going to work, James!”

“Do _not_ tell me you listened to a world those people said!”

“Of course I listened, James! I might not think they’re true, you might not think they’re true, but there’s a lot of people who do! The people who are part of your life. Your acquaintances, your co-workers, your other friends. Your family. How could this possibly work, huh? What are you going to do with me? Have me on your arm at Mrs. What’s-her-name party? Take me home to your mother? I don’t think so. I think we should just say goodbye now and cut our losses”, Lily said, her voice cutting him as she let a few tears fall from her face for the second time that night.

“Lily, love, listen to me”, he tilted her chin up so she would look him in the eyes, just like he had earlier in the evening when he kissed, and the comparison made his heart ache. He could not lose this girl. “I would never, ever care about what any of these people would say about you. If there’s anyone who would ever think any less of you because of money, status, or ‘cause you work in the Circus then they’re the ones we should think less about.”

“James, you’re sweet, but you’re saying that now. I’m never going to be some fancy lady…”

“Good! Great! According to my mum’s calculations, I’ve already turned down at least 87 very respectable and attractive fancy ladies”, and for that he got a small smile from her and felt very victorious indeed. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I love you”, he saw her gasping at those three little words, but continued. “Brilliant, kind, funny, clever, interesting, and so-gorgeous-I-could-stare-at-all day-you. Will you give me a chance to show you that you’ll fit just perfectly into my life?”

“Wow, James, I…”

“Say yes”, he kissed her.

“Yes”, she kissed him, her voice barely a whisper. “How could I not? You prat.”

“A prat who loves you”, he reminded her with a smirk.

“A prat whom I love.”

“Really?”, James asked, his smirk evolving into a full blown smile.

“Yeah…”, Lily answered, embracing him as they got up and started leaving the tent.

“Great, ‘cause my mum wants to meet you.”

“What? You told your mum about me?”

“Yeah, a bit?!”, James said embarrassed. “And now she insists in meeting you and I actually really want that to happen too. Incidentally, she’s the one person whose opinion I care about, so no pressure there, Evans. But she’ll love you, I’m sure; and I already thought of the perfect opportunity so we won’t have to sit through a stuffy dinner.”

“Oh God, I’m meeting your mum.”

“Step One to Operation Showing Lily Evans how she fits perfectly into James Potter’s life”, he shouted at her as his figure grew more and more distance into the night’s navy blue, and she hoped and prayed that what he said was true – that she would fit into the life of this boy who shone as brightly as starlight. 

 

 


	4. For all my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, long time no see, huh?! Sorry, guys, hope some of you are still with me :)  
> This chapter gave me the hardest time eveeeeeer, that's mostly the reason why it took me so long.
> 
> I might do i tiny epilogue.
> 
> A big thanks to Alrightginger, a super hero, who betaed this for me! 
> 
> fyi: This chapter has some "sexy stuff". It's not full-on smut, but if you're not into it, you should not read it. Just know they end up happily ever after.

Lily smoothed her hands over the silky white fabric of her skirt for the uptenth time as she contemplated finally going in. Her hands couldn’t be sweaty when she met James’ mother, after all. She fixed her mother-of-pearl comb in place -  _ again _ \- and took another deep, calming breath.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she heard someone say , and turned sideways to face a tall, older woman with greying hair pulled in bun. She had a severe look about her, but her eyes were kind as she took in Lily standing hesitantly by the ornate iron gate of the Potter Manor.

“Oh, yes, it’s an enchanting place,” Lily answered. If she had been impressed when James took her to Marauders Editions, it was nothing compared to the Manor. The big house, with its Renaissance architecture, cream colored walls, and big windows, stood amidst a colourful, well-tended garden.

“This used to be my grandfather’s house, you know,” the woman informed Lily. “I have a lot of fond childhood memories of this place.”

Lily frowned, taking in the appearance of her companion. James informed her that the house had been in his family for 200 years, which meant that this woman was probably his relative.

“I’m sorry, dear, I seem to have neglected to introduce myself. How rude of me,” she said, seeming to notice Lily’s frown. “I’m Minerva McGonagall. Fleamont was my favorite cousin, we were close growing up. Are you here for the party? It won’t start until 11 a.m., you’re quite early.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. McGonagall. I’m Lily Evans.”

“Oh!” Minerva interjected with a knowing smile, leaving Lily at odds. “You’re here for James. And Euphemia, of course, I suppose.”

“Yes,” she smiled shyly. “I guess.”

“Well, shall we go in, then?” she said, gesturing for Lily to walk past the gates and follow the trail towards the beautiful Manor. They walked side by side up the path leading to the main entrance and McGonagall knocked on the door.

“Mrs. McGonagall. Good Morning. Always such a pleasure to have you here,” said the gentleman who answered the door. His manners were friendly and warm, but also polite and professional. A butler, Lily assumed. 

“Good morning, Mr. Cattermole,” McGonagall answered, clearly a familiar presence in the household.

“And you must be Miss Evans,” he smiled and Lily returned in kind, nodding.

“Yes, I am. Thank you for having me, Sir.”

“The pleasure is mine. Mr. and Mrs. Potter are both waiting in the drawing room, allow me accompany you…”

“Oh, nonsense, we can go ourselves, can’t we, Lily?” said McGonagall, hooking her arm through Lily’s, and marching through the Potter’s Hall right past Mr. Cattermole and into the house. He simply shot Lily an slightly amused, slightly exasperated smile and shrugged - seeming all too accustomed to the experienced.

“Minerva? Is that you?” came a voice from a doorway on Lily’s right.

“Yes, it’s me! Only I ran into a certain someone along the way,” Minerva said, entering the drawing room and taking Lily with her.

“What do you mean, you ran into a certain someone-“ Euphemia started, her head bent down as she read something on a piece of paper. “Oh!” she exclaimed, looking at Lily. She looked so much like James - or rather, Lily guessed, James looked like her. Same beautiful, fine features that belonged in a drawing. Same long nose and skin with a touch of sunlight. But where his eyes were a myriad of hazel, hers were strikingly blue.

She smiled, or rather, smirked - they had that in common as well -  and was just about it extend her hand to Lily in greeting when James walked in through the other door, hands running through his hair.

“Hey mom, is Aunt Minnie here yet? I heard- Lily,” he smiled brightly, stopping in his tracks when he saw her.

“You heard me?” Lily teased, smiling shyly. James walked up to her, his arms encircling her waist as he kissed her cheek quickly. He looked towards his mother and spoke “Lily, this is my mother, Euphemia Potter. Mum, that’s Lily Evans, my-“

“The girl who’s responsible for making you leave this house barefoot yesterday and banging your head against the kitchen cupboard the other day,” Euphemia interrupted in a teasing manner. “Oh yes, it’s a pleasure to finally met you, Miss Evans,” she took Lily’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently as she smiled.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Potter! And please, I’m Lily.”

"And you can call me Euphemia, dear."

"You met aunt Minnie?" James asked her.

"Yes, we ran into each other at the gate.”

“I must say, young man, I understand I’m less attractive than Miss Evans, but you did say I was your favorite aunt, so forgive me for being disappointed if you have yet to greet me,” Minerva said. “And I told you not to call me that.”

“Aw, aunt Minnie!” James said, extricating his arms from Lily’s waist and going over to his aunt, kissing her loudly on the cheek despite the faux severe look she was throwing his way. “I missed you too.”

“ ‘Too’ implies that I’ve said it first and I did no such thing,” she corrected, but her thin lips turned into a smile. “Let me look at you, boy. It’s been too long since the last time I saw you,” she continued, taking his face in her weathered hands. “You’re the spitting image of your mother. Except the eyes. They’re Fleamont’s eyes,” she said, her voice catching a bit. Lily saw James’ eyes water at the mention of his father and the comparison between them, causing him to swallow hard. But Mr. Cattermole suddenly walked into the drawing room, causing the pinprick of tears to be held back.

“Excuse me,” the butler interrupted. “The flowers have arrived, Mrs. Potters, and the caterers are here as well, ma’am.”

“Excellent!” Euphemia answered. “Would you please bring the flowers here, Mr. Cattermole. And James, darling, could you help the caterers around the kitchen, please?”

“I’ll be back in a second, alright?” James said to Lily.

“I’ll be fine,” she answered, smiling fondly at his worried features, even though the prospect of being alone with Mrs. Potter was a bit daunting to her.

“Excuse me for a moment. I should powder my nose,” McGonagall said, and Lily thought the prospect of Minerva McGonagall powdering her nose any other day would have made her laugh - but she was growing too nervous now.

Euphemia grabbed a vase from the mantel piece behind her and put it on the table in front of her like she'd done it many times before. Her hands traced the whole object until they came to rest, splayed palms, on the oak table. She took a deep breath and turned to Lily, offering her a kind, but guarded expression.

“Lily…”

“Mrs. Potter?”

“Can I ask you something, dear?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you love my son?”

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

“Alright. Good... " Euphemia said, as if she had took a deep burden from her shoulders. "James has always wore his heart on his sleeve… He was such a sweet young boy. Every hurt or lonely little animal,  every broken thing thing he found, he’d insist on bringing home with him. And everything he does is done out of love. The things and the people he loves, he loves them wholly and forever. So you see, I had to ask if you loved him back. Because I have never seen my son like these past few months. Not ever. Why, he’s practically radiant! And he had been quite downtrodden after Fleamont’s death.”

“That was not quite what I was expecting,” Lily confessed.

“What were you expecting, dear?” Euphemia's smile broadened, and she looked even more like her son. Lily suspected she knew her answer.

“Hm, if you allow me to be honest, ma’am, I thought you’d may say something about my upbringing, my social status  or my job.”

“I don’t really care about those things, not as long as you are an honest person who loves my son. James also told me what you did for Sirius, which was a very generous thing for you to do. I will forever be grateful to you, for what you did for both Sirius and James," Euphemia told her.

“I didn’t really do anything for James, Mrs. Potter," Lily disagreed. But Euphemia took her hands in hers and squeezed, looking her in the eye quite seriously as she said “You make him happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“It’s what I want for him as well,” Lily nodded.

“Good.”

* * *

 

“Your new dress looks very pretty on you,” James told her as they walked through a hidden, barely-used path in the garden, swinging their intertwined hands between them. Her bare feet felt amazing in the cool grass and damp earth.  The flowers around them were in full bloom, pops of vivid colour sticking out among the lush green. 

“Thank you. It was a gift. Some bloke gave it to me,” she answered with a wink.

“I guess this bloke must have had good taste then,” James smiled.

“I guess. He is trying to woo me, after all,” she teased.

“Trying, huh?” he laughed. “Tell me, how would you say he’s doing?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” she said, stopping them and pulling him in for a kiss, her left hand letting her shoes fall to ground and finding a better home on his soft chaotic mess of a hair.

“I think he’s doing amazing.”

“Silly… You sure no one comes over here? I don’t really fancy the idea of anyone running into us.”

“Yeah. I’m the only one that comes around this side of the property. I even tell mum not to send the gardener here, though I think she does it sometimes anyway. She loved you, by the way, just like I knew she would(...) Besides, the party was already over and I really want you to see this. If you can keep your hands away from me for a second, that is, Miss Evans.”

He separated his body from hers and turned around, tugging on her hand to lead her down the rest of the path. The trees and bushes soon started to open up, and Lily found herself staring at a creek bed in the middle of a clearing.

“James, this is wonderful!” she said, walking to the edge and dipping her toes on the cool water. “I can’t believe you have this in your backyard!” 

“I thought you’d like it.”

“I do! It’s stunning!”

“I came here all the time when I was a kid. My own secret spot. Got less time to do it now, but it’s still my favorite place.”

“I can see why. Thank you for sharing your secret spot with me,” she smiled fondly and he nodded at her.

James takes of his shoes and dips feet in the water.

“What’s that smirk on your face about?” he wondered.

“Oh, I just had the most terrible impulse.”

“They say you should never resist an impulse, Lily. Specially if it’s terrible.”

“Alright. I’m gonna do it,” she said decidedly. And with a devious smirk on her face, she put both palms on his chest and pushed him into the water. “There,” she announced, features twisted in a grimace like a child getting caught for a second; but her laughter is bigger, bubbling out of her in spurts. 

James emerged out of the creek, glasses on hand as he rubbed his eyes,  water gushing out of his mouth.

“Oh, Evans, you’re gonna pay!” he threatened her, laughing as he got out of the water and chased her, sneaking an arm around her waist and hoisting her from the ground.

“No!” she laughed, kicking and flailing in his arms. “James, no, no! You can’t ruin my new dress,” she screamed, her body ending up glued to his as his arms supported her bum.

There was a silent beat and she locked her green eyes on his, her breaths coming in shallow puffs as James’ body threatened to soak her and her cheeks grew slightly pink.

“Put me down,” she asked in a whisper and he obeyed. 

She took one, two, three steps backwards and with nervous fingers started to unbutton her white dress. Letting it fall at her feet, letting it reveal her smooth skin that was now clad only by the thin bra and tap pants. Her toes drawing circles in the sand to keep herself calm, she reached up, taking the comb out of her hair, letting the red locks fall loose past her shoulders. 

She kept her eyes down, not wanting to chance a look at James as she reached behind her to unclasped her bra, dropping it on the floor as her fingers quickly looped through the elastic at her waist and she took off her tap pants in one fluid motion.

“Will you say something?” she asked him in a small voice when she finally looked at him. He was still silent from the moment she started undressing.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just… You’re so beautiful. Perfect,” he lifted his gaze at her fully and his wide eyes roamed her body, not settling in one place. “I mean, when I saw you in that silver dress at the night we went to the Opera, I thought it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever see. Clearly, I was wrong,” he swallowed, looking away.

Lily giggled and took one, two, three steps back to him, splaying her hands on his chest.

“James?”

“Yes?”

“You can touch me… if you want,” she said, the little tremor in her voice betraying her confidence.

“Yeah?”

She nodded.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” she confirmed and held in a breath as he settled tentative hands on her hips. “Can I-can I touch you?” she asked, fingers dancing on his wet chest.

“Of course!” he agreed eagerly, nodding his head as if waking up from a daze. “Do you want me to take it off?” he asked and she nodded wordlessly., 

She tried to work on the buttons of his shirt as they embraced, her shaking fingers missing the first couple of tries, her  forehead pressed against his as laughs turned into shaky breaths. He took over the task for her, soon discarding the wet fabric. When Lily’s hands moved over his chest, gently and reverently tracing every muscle and stopping suggestively at the waistband of his trousers, he asked “All of it off?” and soon they were both naked. His sun-kissed skin against her starry night freckles, tumbling onto the creek as they grabbed onto each other.

“Have you ever done this?” asked Lily, her last niggling thought as James’ hand wandered through her body. 

“No,”came his breathy answer. “Have you?”

“No. It’s alright. We’ll learn together.”

* * *

 

“I thought you said no one came here,” Lily said as she slipped on her dress, narrowing her eyes when she heard noises approaching them.

James frowned, straining his ears to listen while he pulled on his pants. “No one does,” he answered, confused. “I don’t understand how-Sirius?” 

“Whoa, I see we’ve arrived in a bad time,” Sirius said with a sarcastic little smirk when he came out of the bushes and into the clearing.  James sent him an admonishing look and and Remus, right behind him, had his head down and eyes shut, face fully red in embarrassment.

“It’s alright, Remus,” Lily reassured him with a small laugh as she did the last buttons of her dress. “You barely caught a glimpse of lace.”

“Still. I’m sorry.”

“Not at all.”

“What are you two doing here?” James asked.

“Sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds, Prongs, but I got some not-so-good news that couldn’t wait. Your mum said you were here, so…” Sirius explained, a worried look on his face replacing his usual carefree features.

James and Lily traded looks immediately, reaching for each other and gathering their shoes. “Of course,” James said. “What is it?”

“Some foreign bloke kept coming around the circus this week, having talks with Dumbledore behind closed doors,” started Remus.

“He’s selling the Circus, closing the deal officially tomorrow. And then we’re leaving for Germany,” Sirius announced.

“What?” James panicked.

“No, no. That can’t be right,” Lily said. “Dumbledore said we were staying in London for good! Besides, he loves the circus, he’d never sell!”

“He made the announcement today. Apparently, he’s becoming quite frail and the  German offered him a good deal,” Remus sighed. “I’m sorry, Lils.”

“We’re all devastated,” said Sirius.

“So the three of you are leaving?” James screeched. “Just like that? No, That’s not okay,” he added, hugging Lily’s waist tighter to him.

“James, I-I don’t want to go, but I don’t see what we can do,” she answered. 

“I know what we can do.” 

“James…” Lily said, with a slight tone of warning in her voice. She was afraid he’d ask her to marry him. She wanted to, she wanted it so much - but not like this. She didn’t want him to ask her just so she wouldn’t go away.

“Well…” James started. “Owning a Circus sounds cool.”

“What?” Lily and Sirius said in unison.

“My god, he’s gone off his rocker,” Remus falsely whispered.

“What’s the problem?” James questioned. “I mean, I love Marauders Editions. Bloody love it. But it’s not like I don’t love the Circus too. I’m always there with you guys. You brought fun back to my life. You’re my family.”

“Aw, fuck, Prongs,” Sirius said, going over to James and hugging him.

“Are you for real?” Remus asked. “Are you really doing this?”

James looked at Lily, who still hadn’t said anything after her original shock, and at the closed door of the Manor. “If Lily and Mum approve.”

Lily reached for his hand, offering him a small smile and a questioning, although not an unkind look. “Is it what you really want?” she asked.

“Yes. It is.”

“Let’s go talk to your mother, then.”

* * *

 

He sat calmly on the aisle behind the Circus’ curtain, munching on a generous portion of popcorn; when he saw the most exquisite creature he ever laid eyes on take the spotlight.   
She was sitting still, suspended on air on a trapeze swing while it descended centre stage. It didn’t look like she was wearing clothes, but instead; that her body - that he knew so well now, but it never ceased to amaze him - was the night sky, with luminous dots kissing her skin like stars, converging conveniently to protect her modesty. Her fiery red hair was hidden by a wig so fair it was almost silver, pulled together in an elaborate updo, and he felt like he was in on a secret. He couldn’t see her features so well from that distance, but he knew that she was beautiful. Magical. He had traced the lines of her face with feather-soft kisses many times, stared into her emerald green eyes like a love-struck fool when they talked until dawn. 

It was exactly what he must have looked like now, since Sirius, in his new ringmaster clothes, had just whacked him in the back of the head and ordered him to “wake up.”

It was hard though, when Lily turned her gaze directly at him and gave him a wink that felt like a whole conversation.

And just when James though she couldn’t get more perfect, she started moving.


End file.
